So you went out on a date with this amazing guy who is smart, intelligent and funny. You like him and he seem to like you too. You get butterflies in your stomach just thinking about him and eagerly waiting to see him again. Buy as you reach home, you see that he hasn’t even texted you yet. And you get this urge to text him.
And now a question comes to your mind, ‘should I text him first’? Since he hasn’t texted you yet, you might be thinking you will come off as a desperate girl if you text him first, right?
Let me tell you that it is completely fine if you text a guy first. In this article I’ll talk about reasons why you should text him first and why you shouldn’t too. I’ll also explore on how you can text a guy without being desperate.
Should You Text A Guy First?
Texting a guy first has its own benefits. Below are reasons that explains why you should text him first.
Texting First Will Show Him That You Are Honest
There is nothing wrong in texting him first and letting him know that you enjoyed the date with a simple text message.
“Hey, just wanted to tell you I had a great time today. Hoping to see you soon.”
If the guy feels the same about you, then he will also respond to your text positively. And if he doesn’t, then don’t care much about it. At least you are clear about what the guy feels and there is no guessing game involved. You took the first step showing your honesty and you should be proud about that.
It is better to be clear about each other’s feelings during dating stage and not drag it further so that you avoid any mind games. This is what that will create a path for the rest of your relationship.
You Display Confidence
If you want to show him that you are different from other women, then why not show him that you are a strong and confident woman by texting him first. Show him that you are always prepared to take charge when the situation calls for. It doesn’t mean that you are a pushy woman. It means that you are not afraid to ask for what you want.
Women have this misconception that men don’t like such women, but in fact, most men love women who are strong and confident. Don’t be surprised if your guy is impressed by that.
He Is Not Good At Taking Hints
It is a well-known fact that guys are not good at understanding hints. Women give out all sorts of hints that they are interested, so that the guy makes a move first.
Most women try to act that they don’t like the guy mostly due to fear of rejection and expect the guy to show his interest first. Most of the times guys fail to take the hint and it ends in a disappointing note.
Your guy will never text you no matter how much you wait thinking that you are not interested. So it is always a good idea to let him know about your honest feelings early on to avoid any confusion.
He Must Be Waiting For Text
In general, a guy should be the one to text first, for obvious social reasons. Most women are not ready to be first person to text first and prefer to be led by the man they are dating.
But not all guys are the same. There could be many reasons why he is not texting you first. He could be thinking that you will be bothered if he texted you. Or he could be called a creep during his past dates for being the first to text and express his interest.
You Shouldn’t Be Waiting For Things To Just Happen
It takes a lot of courage to text first and most women try to avoid it. They wait for the guy to text first, initiate future dates and also to be the first one to say “I love you”.
This can work in your favour if you are lucky enough to find a guy who has less fears than you. But if you have given up on the control of your relationship and just waiting for good things to happen, then there will be no progress.
If you are okay with waiting, then it’s fine. But if your relationship goes nowhere because of it, then don’t complain. We can only get things in life when we make them happen, right?
You Get More Time To Spend With Each Other
The more time you wait, the less you get to spend with each other. If you want to get things going, either you or him have to make the contact first.
Instead of waiting for days and grieving about when you guy will contact you, why not just break the ice and text him first. Life is too short to wait for things to happen.
There Will Be Loss Of Interest
It may seem bad, but it’s true. Romantic interest has a life of its own, and the more you delay waiting to express your feelings, it will slowly die in vain.
If both of you are scared to contact each other, then you will forget all the good feelings and memories that you had when you spent time with each other. Eventually a time may come when you might even start questioning why you even liked the other person.
Nothing good will happen if you are going to wait, so strike when is iron is hot. If he is taking time to text you, then be the first one to make things happen by texting him first.
It Can Be A Turn On Too
Being the first one to text need lots of confidence and some guys even consider that to be a turn on for them. It also makes clear to the guy that you are interested in him.
If the guy is shy, then it will take a lot of pressure off of him if you text him first. It will also be a refreshing experience for him and also it will make him more comfortable.
How To Text Him First Without Looking Desperate
Knowing how to text a guy without sounding like a desperate girl is also important. Below are some tips on how you can text a guy first without being desperate.
- Don’t start a conversation with a simple “hi” text. This will not get the guy’s interest. Instead start with an opener line along with a question that will give a reason for him to respond.
- Show him that you have an awesome life besides him and you are not just waiting around for his text. Send him a photo if you have gone out with your friends or to a restaurant that he likes. This is give you an opportunity to have back and forth conversation with him.
- Do not go overboard with emojis. It is cute when you use it sparingly, but it can be a turn off if you try to have your whole conversation just by using them.
- Have patience after you have sent a text. If you haven’t heard from him since your last text, then don’t keep sending him more texts until he replies. He could be busy and seeing 50 messages from you then next time he checks his phone isn’t going to be cute.
- Keep your texts short and to the point. Long text messages are difficult to read and also to respond.
- Don’t text like a kid. Stop using texts like “C u l8r” and “Gd mrnng” and start using complete words.
When You Shouldn’t Text Him First
While there are many reasons why you should text a guy first, there are also many other reasons why you shouldn’t. Below are some of the situations where you should avoid texting a guy.
- Avoid texting a guy when you are drunk, unless you are already committed in a relationship. If you have just started dating, you might feel the urge to text him when you are drunk, but it will lead to a totally embarrassing situation that you might regret later. In such cases, it is better to switch off your phone when you are drinking.
- Another situation when you shouldn’t text a guy is when you are upset or angry at him. During such times we might say some things that we really don’t mean and might affect your relationship. So, it is always better to cool yourself down before talking to him. Also such things should be dealt face to face or over a phone call, since you won’t understand the meaning of the texts and could be misunderstood.
- Do not text him if you know that he is out with his friends. I can understand that in a new relationship you will feel like you want to spend all your time with him. But let him spend some of his time with his friends too. Guys feel pressurized when they have to spend their time with their friends and their loved one at the same time. Also you could project yourself as a very needy person which you should not.
- Text him only if you really have something to say. An occasional “hi” message is fine, but too many vague texts will make anyone lose interest. So always text him if you have something valuable to say.
- Do not text him just after you are out from your date. It is a good idea to follow up with him after a date, but at least give him some space to process everything. According to experts, it is always a good idea to wait till the next morning before you text him. He might even text you before that if he enjoyed your company.
Many women think that texting a guy first will come out too strong. You can be sure that it is not. Sure, there are some genuinely creepy things that you might do when you are too desperate, but texting isn’t one of them.
It’s not like you are entering the guy’s bedroom and asking him anything, holding him by his collar. It’s just a text message. And there are plenty of good reasons why you should text him first, unless you are doing something weird.
So, should you text him first? I hope you have found your answer. If you have any experiences to share with us, please use the comment section below.