Gone are the days where Tinder was just an app for hookups. Now people are looking towards Tinder for real relationships, especially women. And this is good news for men.
Tinder is just like any other site. If you have a good profile, you will get matches easily. You upload good pictures and write 1 or 2 lines about yourself. And when a girl checks your profile and likes, she will swipe right. And once she has swiped right, half of the battle is won. How you are going to start off your conversation and then meet that amazing girl is all that’s left.
Even though matches might come easily, some guys struggle to start a conversation with a girl. Getting swiped right is useless if you don’t know how to start a conversation and engage in it.
But don’t worry. The focus of this post is on messaging in tinder. If you are confused about how to text a girl on tinder, this is for you.
How To Text A Girl On Tinder
Below are some useful tips on how to start a conversation in tinder and lock that date.
Get Started With The Conversation
Before you can do anything you need to start off that conversation. One of the best ways to start a conversation is to ask the girl a question or crack a joke that is something specifically about her(just don’t make a joke about her looks).
A good tip here is to ask a personal question. Don’t just go on copying and pasting the same question to every girl you want to talk to. Girls can find that out. Just go though her profile and look for details in her pictures or profile description.
Once you can find a genuinely interesting question, you can have a good start to you conversation.
(Girl has uploaded a photo of her recent trip to Bali)
Nice Bali pic. Did you also visit Bali Handara gate? It’s quite an awesome place to take some nice photos.
(Girl’s profile says she loves hiking)
Do you love hiking? There’s a waterfall and nature hike coming up this weekend. You can join if you are free.
If you get a reply from the girl you are in luck. These tips will help you in creating a solid foundation for follow up texts even if she has not provided much information in her profile.
Keep Your Message Quality High
Focus more on sending quality messages rather than quantity. A faster exchange of messages can make the conversation more fluid but higher quality messages will help you better in impressing the girl.
Girl: It was a fun weekend. I went underwater diving.
Boring Guy: Looks like you had lot of fun.
You: Wow, that awesome. I’ve always wanted to try underwater diving. Did you meet any sharks? 😉
You can see in the above example that your message in much more engaging and interesting than the boring guy. Not only you are sharing with her about your interest, you are also giving her a reason for something to talk about.
Girl: What kind of movies do you like to watch?
Boring Guy: I like horror movies.
You: I love to watch any movie that gives a big, fat workout to my brains. So movies like Interstellar are my favorite.
Once again the boring guy is not giving much reason for the girl to respond back. But your response is clearly letting her know what kind of genre you like in movies which will let her know if both of you have common taste and give enough reason to talk more.
So you should always provide value in your messages which will make it easier for the girl to talk with you more. The fact that she is talking to you shows that she likes you. You just need to help her in making the connection.
Also remember that it’s completely OK for you to take some time to think and respond something intersecting and clever to her text. When you are genuinely communicating with her well, she will not have a problem waiting for a few mins to talk with you.
Keep Is Short And Simple
Most guys make the mistake of talking only about themselves and how awesome they are whenever they text girl on tinder. Whenever you are texting a girl on tinder, remember that it’s a two way conversation and it will get boring for her if she is only on the receiving end of that conversation. Girls are more interested to talk if you can make that conversation two sided.
A good tip to have interesting conversation is to focus on only one idea at a time. If the messages are short and thoughtful, it will get much easier to exchange messages.
What kind of book do you love to read?
I see that you love to watch Harry Potter movies. Have you read all the books too?
When you are asking questions to her, it will show her that you are genuinely interested in her. And when you ask more questions to her, you will know more about her which will make room for more question and help in developing a connection.
Make Use Of Humor
Girls love men with good sense of humor. If you think that the girl is right choice for you then you need to share your beliefs and emotions with her including your humor. It is a big part of who you are and girls appreciate guys who can make them laugh.
Once in a while try to make a joke. It doesn’t matter whether she just chuckles or has a good laugh. She will appreciate that you are not serious all the time. But don’t try too hard and turn every conversation you make in to humor. It will have a bad impression on you.
Pay Attention To The Subtle Details
Girls give out subtle details in their conversation that is hard to figure out if you don’t pay attention. Girls become smart whenever they have conversation with a guy. To find out if a guy is interesting and how well a guy is listening to them, they respond intelligently in a conversation.
And you can prove her that you are totally focused on her by recalling details that you had with her during your previous conversation.
I know you like wood baked pizza and I’ve heard about this awesome restaurant that makes the finest pizza. Would you like to meet me there?
Know When To Stop And Let Her Know
We can sometimes get busy during an interesting conversation and have to stop texting. Just know that it is completely fine. If you get busy due to work or something else and have to stop texting, just let her know. This way she does not have to think that you are ghosting her.
Hey, I would like to know more about that book you were talking about. I’ll text you after 7 as soon as I get out from my work.
Gotta go for lunch. I’ll back in an hour.
She will appreciate it more when you don’t make her wait and be clear that you are exiting the conversation.
Ask Her For A Date
Most guys hesitate when it comes to asking a girl for a date. Remember that the purpose of dating apps like Tinder is only to start off the initial conversation and you will eventually have to meet the girl at some point. Be a man and just ask her out.
There are even examples where men have met the girl within hours after connecting. So, why not you?
If you want to know if your timing right to ask the girl out, below are some tips:
- The girl is asking personal questions about you.
- She is very enthusiastic when responding to your messages and taking less time to respond to each message.
- You are conversing about something that is common in both of you.
- You live in the same locality.
If you ask the girl out for a date and she requests you for a future date, just lock it.
If you are committing something to her, then make sure that to follow it without fail. For example, if you have set a date to meet her, then don’t try to change the time. Your girl needs to know that you are a reliable man and you do what you say.
And if you encounter a situation where you really can’t meet her, then apologize to her and suggest alternated dates when you can meet her. This will show her that you really want to meet her and not just trying to blow it.
Don’t Forget To Follow Up
Congratulations to you if you have successfully met the girl and you felt a spark in the process.
Once the date was a success, don’t forget to follow up on the same night or the next day. Even sending something simple like thanking her for the date and letting her know that you enjoyed it will do a lot of good in your favor. You can also schedule a second date and propose doing some other activity. It would be even great if both of you share interest in that activity.
Thanks for taking your time. It was a lot of fun. I would love to do it again. How about wood baked pizza next friday?
I had a great time. I hope you too enjoyed as much as I did. Are you free next week to grab some drink?
On the other hand if you didn’t feel the spark or if there was no chemistry, then it’s totally fine. Things happen. Just politely thank her and move on. And if you really like that girl see if you can schedule a second date and figure out what went wrong so that you can prevent it from happening again.
If you were just having too many expectations and seeing red flags from the girl (like not interested in conversing) it’s time to move on from her and continue your tinder adventure.
Do’s And Don’ts Of Tinder Messaging
- Start off with the first message.
- Try to collect details of the girl by checking her bio and pictures.
- Compliment something about the girl that is not related to her looks.
- Be genuine when to ask something to her so that you will get to know her better.
- Try to build good chemistry.
- Only after this stage move your conversation off from Tinder.
- Don’t send boring texts like ‘hi’ or ‘what’s up’.
- Don’t keep texting repeatedly if she is not replying. Once you have sent her a text wait until she replies.
- Keep your texts short and try not to send an essay.
- Be polite and don’t respond with anger or being rude. If you have a short temper, just take a time out and calm your sense before you reply.
Regardless of what dating apps you are using or even trying to find a girl outside the internet, chemistry, good conversation and being kind are the basic foundation of building any relationship. And the more fun you have texting her, the more chances you have in locking your first date. Just be thoughtful, look for you details, go to Sherlock mode when she gives out subtle details and if nothing goes right (would you call it a pun?) don’t take it serious.
Follow our tips and start swiping on Tinder. If you have anything more to share on how to text a girl on tinder, let us know in the comments below. Also don’t forget to share this post.