In this article, we will talk about how to be a military girlfriend.
If you want to be a good military girlfriend you need to learn how to deal with army boyfriends because just like any other relationship, dating a military guy comes with its own challenges.
There are many challenges with military relationships have to endure like being apart for a long time, the strict rules, etc that non-military relationship don’t have to face. But you can overcome this easily with a bit of dedication and adjustment.
If you want to be a good and supportive army girlfriend, you need to give him your support during difficult times that will help in making your relationship stronger.
How To Be A Good Military Girlfriend
Below are tips and ways on how you can become a good military girlfriend and show your support.
Having good communication with your boyfriend is an important aspect of any relationship and it is even more when it comes to military relationships.
Keep your communication open and honest with your boyfriend. Be an understanding partner and talk about all good and bad things even when you are apart. This will keep your relationship strong.
Before your boyfriend is deployed or sent to service for a longer period of time, sit with him, and have a serious discussion about your feelings and concerns. It is very important that both of you are on the same page.
And if your boyfriend has a different opinion than yours, don’t get into an argument with him. Keep your opinions aside for a while and listen to what he has to say.
Avoid getting into any kind of blame game or name-calling when you are mad or upset. No silent treatments either. These are the times when you have to show your support and understanding. Be respectful and confront him directly about your concerns.
Communicate In Every Way Possible
The kind of contact you can have with your boyfriend will be limited depending on the military branch he is serving in. So make use of all possible ways of communication like email, phone calls, letters, or even social media.
Even if you don’t get enough replies from him, make sure to write as many letters and emails as possible. Also, remember to keep your phone with you all the time as you never you when your boyfriend will get a couple of minutes to talk with you.
During a military long-distance relationship, every bit of contact matters in growing your relationship. While video calls are not as good as physical contact, it is the next best thing for you to be in touch with your boyfriend. This will you feel more connected with him.
Understand that serving in the military is not a 9 to 5 job. When you are in the military you are working 24×7. So, always be flexible with your plans as things can change in a moment.
Allow Him To Adjust When He Returns Home
Once your military boyfriend is back from a deployment or boot camp, it might take some time for both of you to adjust. And being a good military girlfriend, you need to give him enough time for adjustment.
Even though he is excited to be with you again, spending daily life together can get difficult and take some time because of the change in routine.
When you are serving in the military you will have to adapt to a new mindset that is different from normal life. This mindset will help for better teamwork, bond with his unit, and build a brother-like bond.
Even though this may not have a direct impact on your relationship, serving in the military can change a person and you need to be understandable and support him when he gets back to his normal life.
Don’t Be Demanding
Military boyfriends cannot make any promises and hence they can’t stand girlfriends who are too demanding about their future plans. If you are still in a fresh relationship, give it at least one or two years before you make any future plans.
Take Time Before Taking Major Relationship Decisions
If you plan on making any big decisions early in your relationship, you may come under pressure from the military community. Even certain military situations can affect your decisions.
Give at least a year of time after you have started dating before you decide to marry your boyfriend so that you can give your relationship the best chance possible.
There are many advantages of marrying a military boyfriend like higher pay and free health insurance which you learn about quickly. But don’t rush into making decisions until you are truly ready. This will make things easier in the future.
Learn About Military And Their Terminologies
Serving for your country is a source of pride. It can be beneficial for you if you gain a little knowledge about the military in general. The more you learn about them the less you will have anxiety and fear about the job.
It is also good practice to learn about military abbreviations and terminologies. It will be normal for your boyfriend to use abbreviations when talking about military locations, postings, weapons, etc and he may talk in a similar way when having conversations with you.
It is important that you learn about these abbreviations. If you are interested, your boyfriend will be more than happy to educate you and help you understand his job. It can even help you have some really interesting conversations with him.
When you are dating a military boyfriend, having a positive mindset is very important. Even though it can get difficult sometimes, having an optimistic attitude can make a lot of difference.
Have patience, understand him, and try to find good in every situation. You can achieve this through meditation, positive talks, being happy, and keeping a journal on daily gratitude.
Military deployments are unpredictable and can even get extended or changed at the last minute. It is a good practice to expect the worst but at the same time hope for the best.
Keep Yourself Busy
Being a military girlfriend, it can get easy to drown into thoughts and start missing him. To avoid wallowing yourself, you need to focus on your personal life and happiness.
Join yoga class, take up a new hobby, train for a marathon, and do things that will keep you busy in a fun and productive way.
When you are surrounded by good and supportive friends you re less likely to feel lonely and miss him. Spend time with your old friend and also take the time to make new friends on the way.
Having a good support system will help you during your difficult times and also enjoy your life having fun experiences when your boyfriend is away.
You can also be in touch with people of the military community. They can better understand what you are going through and are more supportive.
Meet Girlfriend Of Other Military Men
If you get the opportunity, it is also a good idea to meet the girlfriends or spouses of other military men which can help you gain insights on how they are handling their relationships. They have been making their relationship work for years and can provide you with a lot of valuable advice and experience.
Be In Control
Due to a lot of military rules and demands, there may be many important occasions where you will not be able to spend time with your boyfriend. There will also be many details of important missions that your boyfriend cannot share with you due to them being confidential.
These are the things that you will have to accept as you really can’t change those. Be an understanding girlfriend and try to make the most of the situation.
If you feel like you are getting overwhelmed and out of control, close your eyes and slowly count down from 10. If it doesn’t work for you then try to destress through meditation, yoga, or talking to a close friend.
Accept What Is Not In Your Control
You should be okay with being far from your boyfriend whenever he goes on military deployments. You need to accept that this is part of the military lifestyle and something that is not in your control.
The advantage of this is that you will get to visit many places that you may have never visited.
Whenever your boyfriend is away he will only get limited time to talk to you so try not to show your anger or frustration on him and treat it as a special moment you are spending with him.
Keep in mind that military service can be hard in him too and he will be looking for your support and assurance. Do not talk about any bad things that you are facing and talk about how much you love him and that you are always there for him.
Always be positive whenever you talk to him whether it is through email, letter, or phone calls. Give positive pep talks and say things like “I’m always there for you” or “I believe in you.”
Don’t Give Up
Being away from your loved one can be challenging to overcome. You may even start doubting your relationship during difficult times.
Do not give up during such hard times and do your best to stay strong. Don’t break up with him or cheat on him. Decisions taken when clouded by sadness and loneliness will end up with regret.
Accept His Career Choice
Choosing the military as a career is not an easy one. So if you chose to be his girlfriend, then give respect to his choice. Serving your country is something to be proud of.
Do not talk badly about his career choice or military in general even if you had a bitter experience in the past. Do not force him to change his career.
At the end of the day, it was his choice and not yours. If you want to learn how to be a good military girlfriend, understand him in every way possible and give your full support.
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