If you have reached this page, I’m guessing that you are already committed in a relationship and want to make your guy happy by learning how to be a good girlfriend. If you think it is difficult then do not be worried. In this article we will talk about different ways on how to be the perfect girlfriend for your guy.
How To Be A Better Girlfriend?
Let’s take an example of your previous relationship. Was your previous boyfriend good or bad?
“Yeah, he was a good boyfriend.”
“Not at all. He was the worst boyfriend anyone could have. He never loved me or cared about me at all.”
Listing all the bad things about a person is probably much easier than listing all the good things. But let’s take a deeper look at the good boyfriend that you have had or that you wish to have.
We will make a list of what a good boyfriend should be like according to you.
- He should love you and care for you a lot.
- He should gift you often.
- He should have great conversations with you.
- You both should feel like a team.
If your list is anything like this, then you have a general idea of what a good partner should be like. The golden rule on being a good girlfriend is treating your boyfriend exactly like how you expect yourself to be treated.
But keep in mind that you should learn how to be a good girlfriend only if you really care about him or love him and not because you want something in return. When your relationship has no strings attached then you will get much more in return that you ask for.
One thing that I want to clear is that treating your boyfriend just like how you want to treated is just a generalization. People have their own set of desires. If you love to kiss in public and he doesn’t, then don’t kiss him a lot just because you want to be treated that way.
Couples often have their own way of expressing love. This is how they communicate their feelings or want to be communicated. While you may feel loved when your boyfriend gives you a gift, he might feel loved when you cuddle with him. So if you want to learn how to be a better girlfriend, you may want to consider the things that make him feel loved.
Tips On How To Be A Good Girlfriend
Before you start learning to be a good girlfriend, I would like to remind you that whatever you do, keep it natural and not forced. If you force it, your boyfriend will find out. You might feel bad if you your guy does not appreciate some of the things that you do for him but don’t let that get in your head and stop you from being a good girlfriend.
“Do things out of love, not for something in return and you will get more than what you ask for.”
Be More Than Just A Girlfriend
Most couples were just friends in the beginning and then fall in love. But once they commit to each other their friendship quotient dies. This could be due to the complicated feelings they have for each other. I feel the lack of friendship in a couple takes away something beneficial in a relationship.
So what can you do to be his friend along with a great girlfriend? Think about having a connection with him outside the bedroom too. If you were friends before, then do the same things that you did before you fell in love with him or do the things that would do with your other friends in general like cycling, hiking, etc.
Just like women, even men would have experienced bitter relationship in the past. Just like you, even they would be hurt and would find it hard getting into a relationship.
Even though you have your own issues to sort out, keep in mind that being open and transparent is the way to have a stronger and successful relationship. So be honest with him. Build your trust the same way you want him to trust you. Talk about your issues and past experiences and I’m sure he will understand it much better than you can expect.
If you are finding it difficult to be open and talk to him, then take it slowly.
Giving Personal Space
Everyone needs their own space once in a while and it’s no different for men. I have seen many women who find it difficult to let their man have their personal space. They find it hard to accept the fact that even men need their own space sometimes.
Men ignore their personal space during the beginning of their relationship, may be due to the excitement of being with you or to avoid hurting you. But once they start settling into the relationship they ask for their space whenever they need.
If you are trying to be the best girlfriend for him, then give him his space whenever he needs it. There is nothing bad in it. You can use that time to have your own space or spend that time with your friends or family.
Express Your Feelings
This one is similar to my previous tip of being transparent and open. I can understand that some women might find it difficult to express their feelings if they have been hurt in the past, but you have to take that chance if you want to build a successful relationship. Remember that being able to honestly expressing your feelings is the key to build a strong connection.
You can do this by talking to him about how you truly feel. If you are angry at him, don’t just shout at him. Try to find words which you can use to make him understand your feelings.
“I feel hurt whenever you ignore my words and it makes me feel like you don’t value me.”
If you truly want to build a successful and long-term relationship, then you have to stop putting a wall around your heart and talk to him.
Speak You Mind
Women will do whatever it takes to save their relationship, even if it means suppressing their opinions or changing their personality just to keep her man happy. But you need to know that the right man will respect your opinions and love you for what you are. So feel free to express your opinions with your man.
Letting him know your opinion doesn’t mean you have to offend him. Try to stay away from topics like politics which you think might turn into heated arguments. But never shy away from speaking your mind. Having meaningful arguments once in a while can be fun.
Gone are the days when the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. I say it is through his friends. Just like women, men care a lot about what his friends think about the love of his life. And trying to spend time with his friends and you separately can stress him a lot.
If you want to know how to be a good girlfriend, then be a good friend with his friends. You don’t have to be close with them, just being nice can do a lot. If he tells that one of his friend is having a bad time, then tell him to go and spend some time with his friend or help him out if possible.
Take Care Of Him
No, you don’t have to act like his momma. Even the strongest of man will like it when his loved one takes care of him.
If you sense he is having cold or fever, then you can get medicine from the drug shop. If he is highly sick, then you can prepare hot soup and watch a movie with him. You can also offer to help him in his errands. Your man will highly appreciate such small gestures and will make him realise how much you care about him.
Have Trust In Him
If you are the kind of person who do all the work by yourself, then it can get hard to trust someone else to do your job as perfect as you do. But have trust in letting your man do your job even if he is bad at it. Appreciate him for his help.
Trusting will also help in building strong emotions in a relationship. Don’t compare your man with any of your broken past relationships. Let him inside your heart.
Listen To Your Man
According to a research conducted by Faye Doell, it was concluded that there are 2 types of listening. The first one is listening to respond and the other one is listening to understand.
If you are listening to understand, it means that you are paying attention to what your man is saying and that really helps in strengthening your relationship. Your boyfriend will be more interested in talking to you when you are paying attention. On the other hand, if you are just listening to respond, then it means that you have already decided on what you want to reply and that will have a bad impact.
I have seen so many women who change their entire personalities just so that they can please their boyfriend. But you need to understand that this strategy will not work in your favor for a long time.
And when your guy finds out the real you, it will have a very bad impact on your relationship. So, if you want to learn how to be a good girlfriend, first you need to learn how to be yourself. You might think that your boyfriend might like you in a certain way, but you cannot keep up with that for a long time.
A good girlfriend is not someone who hides behind a mask. She will always show her real self to her man. Your man will love you for who you are.
Support Your Man
We all need someone who can be there for us during our good and bad times. If you are trying to be the best girlfriend for him, then don’t just lean onto him during your bad times.
Support him during his bad times. Be his cheerleader. Be his backup. In a good relationship, partners support each other during their good and bad times equally.
Be A Solid Team
One good tip on learning to be a better girlfriend is by being a team player where both of you work as a team to achieve your goals.
Let’s say both of you are into fitness. You can support each other in realising your fitness goals. If you love travelling, then you can take turns in planning that next adventure.
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean that one person will be in the control of everything. It is about relying and supporting on each other in all phases of life.
Compliment Your Boyfriend
This is one of the simplest tip, yet one of the strongest in building a solid relationship. Think about how your boyfriend compliments you often whenever you dress beautifully or when you present him with an awesome idea.
Likewise compliment your boyfriend and make him feel good.
“You are looking so handsome.”
“I’m so lucky to have you in my life.”
It doesn’t take much of your time to compliment him, so try to remind yourself to compliment him often. But don’t overdo it. And don’t just restrict yourself to complimenting his looks. Compliment him for his wits and brains too.
Learn To Compromise
I can understand that you like to do things your way. But being in a relationship also means that you have to learn to compromise sometimes.
Compromising on smaller things like watching a sports game with him instead of going for that lunch in your favourite restaurant or staying at his house for the weekend even though you are lazy and prefer your boyfriend to come over to your place.
When it comes to compromising, sometimes you will have to do more than what you really want to. But think about when your boyfriend did the same for you. Relationship is all about give and take, isn’t it?
Give Him Affection
During the starting days of a relationship we are so much affectionate to each other. We hug, kiss and cuddle each other but over the time we get used to seeing each other so much that we stop showing our affection. Don’t let that happen.
If you want to know how to be a good girlfriend, then don’t forget to show your affection to your man physically. But also make sure the kind of affection that your guy prefers. Some men just like to cuddle rather than showing PDA.
Yes, life gets busy, but never forget to kiss your man whenever you see him. Even if it’s just a small peck on his lips. Not to forget all the benefits you get from kissing. It reduces your stress, make you happy and also burns calories.
Seduce Your Man
Seduction is another way to keep a happy relationship. It gets easier to seduce your man, the longer you stay together.
Not only seducing will make your boyfriend happy and appreciated, he will also try to make you feel good and happy.
Avoid Being Jealous
Jealousy is a part of any relationship and it is understandable. Whether it’s a man or a woman, they get jealous when they see their partner talking to a person of the opposite sex. It’s fine to get jealous but don’t overdo it. Going overboard with your jealousy indicates that you are insecure about him.
If you trust your boyfriend, then there is nothing to be jealous about. Take it lightly and make fun of it.
“Oh, were you talking to your next girlfriend?”
Making fun of the matter will also put your boyfriend at ease. Being jealous will only make your boyfriend avoid talking about his other female friends with you and that will take a bad turn sometime in future. So keep it cool and don’t be threatened.
Make Your Boyfriend Feel Special
While most of the tips listed above can make your boyfriend feel special, you can still do much more.
Text him once is a while and say you love him and miss him. If it’s his birthday, bake a cake for him. If he likes to read books, gift him one. If he is tired from work, give him a massage.
There are many such small things that you can use to make your boyfriend feel happy and special. Part of being a good girlfriend is knowing what your guy likes and using them to make him happy.
Let Him Be In Control
Don’t think I’m being sexist here. I know you are a strong and independent woman and you don’t like someone taking control of you.
Men like such confident women. But sometimes they like to be in charge to show that they care about you. Like holding your hands in a crowded place, opening the door for you, making trip plans and so on.
If you want to know how to be a good girlfriend let him take control sometimes. You won’t be seen as a weak woman if you let your man take care of you. You can still be independent and let your boyfriend take care of you.
Sometimes we lose so much confidence in our own self that we always try to rely on our partners just to recreate our self-image.
But don’t forget that building a solid relationship always starts from within. If you are unhappy about yourself then you cannot keep your partner or your relationship happy.
So always be confident about yourself and accept who you are. Your boyfriend fell in love with you for that in the first place, right?
Learn New Things
If you are the kind of person who does nothing but obsess about your relationship, then it will not last longer.
Yes, you love him with all your heart but don’t forget that even you have a personal life that you will have to build individually.
Life is all about learning new things and developing yourself. So why not take time from hanging out all the time and learn something new every day.
There is nothing more awesome than a person who is a learner. Write a book, start a small business or do anything that will make you happy.
Your identity should be more than just being his girlfriend. And when you have your own identity, your boyfriend will love you more for who you are. Not only you will build a strong relationship, you will also be successful in life.
Men can be messy sometimes. Do not raise your voice during such times. It will only hurt your relationship.
Instead talk to him sweetly. You are learning to be a good girlfriend and not a nagging one. And when you express your concerns in a nicer tone, your boyfriend will start obeying you and it will also create a lovely atmosphere in your relationship.
Learn The Art Of Love
Men love woman who are great in bed. And no, you don’t have to imitate like a porn star. Most men find it to be a turn off.
Sex is an important part of any relationship. Make sure that both of you enjoy each other. Learn what he likes in bed and give your best to make him happy. In return he will also make sure to give you a good time.
Communication in very important, so make sure that both you know each other’s needs well.
Don’t Be Competitive
In a relationship, sometimes couples try to compete with each other, like who earns more, who is smarter and so on. Be careful with this and don’t take it too far.
It’s good to have some competition in a relationship but make sure that it is carried out in a fun way and not a serious one.
Men can get sensitive sometimes and you don’t want to cause any unnecessary tension in your relationship.
Avoid Taking Decisions During Anger
It is common to have fights in a relationship. And the worst thing that can happen during a fight are the decisions that we take when we are angry.
If you want to avoid regretting your decisions, then don’t make them when you are angry. Take your time to cool down and then take the best judgement when your mind and heart is in the right place.
There are much more things on how to be a good girlfriend that you can do, but these are few things that will help you get started. You can make up your own list of things that can help you in being a better girlfriend.
Try each of the above tips and pay attention to how your man responds. He might love some of them and some he might not. Tweak them and make your own strategy to become the best girlfriend for him.
The ways and needs of a relationship changes over time. Adapt to these changes and work continually to learn how to be a good girlfriend and maybe one day a good wife too.
If you have any more tips on learning to be a better girlfriend, then you can let us know in the comments below.