If you ask someone for tips on how to ask a guy out, they might tell you to just approach the guy and ask him out. But you know it is not that easy, right?
It gets hard to figure out how to ask a guy out as you get older. Women who are in their 30s or 40s find it harder to find men who are not available. While 62% of Gen Xers are married, the rest of them are gay.
So if you are a woman who has a history of ups and downs in your relationship, how are you going to figure out how to ask a guy out when you are not even sure if the guy is bachelor or not?
Why Should You Ask Him Out?
You might be a traditional girl and want the guy to ask you out first. And you could be finding ways to convince him to do that.
If you ask me I would guess that it has less to do with you being a traditional girl and more about being afraid to approach the man you are attracted to and ask him out. You may think he might reject you or even laugh at you. The fear of embarrassment might make you back off. But have you ever thought that even guy may be scared to approach you?
With the rise of female empowerment in the past few decades, I don’t see any reason why you can’t take charge and ask the guy out.
The guy you are interested in may also be interested in you, but with all the recent #MeToo controversies, he might be scared to approach you to avoid his intentions to be misunderstood. A research conducted by MTV found out that 1 in every 3 men worry that their actions can be misunderstood as s*xual harassment. So, that guy will not take the risk of approaching you if he thinks that you might think his advances in a wrong way.
The only option left is to ask the guy out yourself. You are a strong and independent woman and you should not be afraid of approaching him.
Let me help you by giving you a few scenarios that you can use to learn how to ask a guy out. It doesn’t matter which one you use as you as you are confident about yourself. Men love confident woman and is a sure way to make him fall for you.
How To Ask A Guy Out Scenario 1 – Group Date
One of the fears that most aged or divorced women have is the fear of rejection when they ask a man out for a date. You may be the most successful woman at work or one of the most outgoing person among your friends, but it will just break your confidence with the idea of a man turning you down.
So if you have the fear of rejection then you can use this simple strategy. Ask him for a group date with you and a few friends. From the outside it will just look like a group of friends enjoying the day. If the guy just wants to be a friend with you then there is no harm in it. You will have a good time with him. It may make you sad that he has no feelings for you but you never know if that ends up into an amazing friendship.
It can also happen that the guy may realize that he has romantic feelings for you after spending some time with you.
Either way, this is a win-win situation, as the chances of getting rejected in minimal. You can then ask him for a one-on-one date once you have gained enough confidence.
How To Ask A Guy Out Scenario 2 – Start With Coffee
One of the easiest ways on how to ask a guy out with minimum chances of rejection is to just ask the guy out for a coffee. Coffee is one of the safest activities that very few people will reject. Even if the guy makes a big deal out of it, you can just say: Come on, it’s just coffee.
I’m sure the guy will feel like an idiot.
Going out for coffee wont put a dent on you financially and also there is no alcohol involved which can mess with your senses. And it won’t take much of your time. If things don’t go as you had planned, you can just get out of there within an hour. But if they do go well then you can order an extra cappuccino.
How To Ask A Guy Out Scenario 3 – I have Got An Extra Ticket
There are many cheesy ways to ask a guy out. And even if the guy can clearly see through them, they actually work most of the times. And that also includes the good old ‘I have an extra ticket for this amazing concert. Wanna join?‘ move.
But the important thing that you need to consider is the type of ticket that you want to offer him. Will he join you for an opera concert? Only if he really likes you…like really really likes you.
But to be honest he is more likely to accept your invitation to a sports event or a band that he likes. So before you approach him with a ticket, decide on the event first.
Now you may also encounter a situation where he won’t go out with you and you will be left with two tickets. So always make sure that the event is something that you would also like to go and have a friend as a backup who might go with you in case your plan has failed.
How To Ask A Guy Out Scenario 4 – Mutual Interests
If you are interested in singing and if there is guy in your friends group who is also into singing, why not use this amazing opportunity and turn your mutual interested into a date? This is such a natural and fool proof way to ask the guy out for a date that he won’t even realize it.
I record songs and upload them to YouTube. Will you join me next time to record a duet song?
Since the guy is also interested in the same activity as you are, there is very less chance where he won’t accompany you. Even if he cant make it on a specific day, he will surely suggest another date to join you.
How To Ask A Guy Out Scenario 5 – Use A Cheesy Pickup Line
If you are at a bar or a party and want to ask a guy out then you can use this tip. You want to initiate a conversation with the guy and also leave a memorable first impression.
You must already know that guys are known for their cheesy pickup lines, so why not surprise him by throwing one right at him yourself?
Have I seen you somewhere? Because you look like my next boyfriend.
I seem to have lost. Can you please give me directions to your heart?
Can someone call the cops, ’cause it’s illegal to look that hot!
You are not trying to be smooth, but just trying to make him laugh. If you manage to make him laugh then it will get much easier to make your move, i.e., ask him out. At the very least, it will open the door for some interesting discussions and laughs.
How To Ask A Guy Out Scenario 6 – Buy Him A Drink
This is a strategy that is mainly used by men to ask a girl out, and for a good reason. Why can’t you use this strategy to ask a guy out?
This strategy works magically since it’s not common for women to buy drinks for men. Your guy will be so much impressed by you that he will immediately walk up to you and introduce himself. What happens after that is entirely left to your imagination.
Buy this cool shoes to gift your boyfriend/husband
How To Ask A Guy Out Scenario 7 – Take A Friend’s Help
This strategy has been working since our school times. Imagine you are in a bar or a party and you have found a guy you want to talk to. What you can do is ask your friend to approach that guy and ask him if he’s single.
My friend over there has been keeping her eyes on you for a while. Shall I tell her that you are not interested? (the reverse psychology method)
My friend over there is interested in buying you a drink. Wanna join?
If the guy is with a group of friends then invite all of them. No man would reject an offer like that.
You can even hire a wing woman to help you out. Erin Davis is a professional wing woman who helps women find their dates for a price. Interested?
How To Ask A Guy Out Scenario 8 – Birthday Date
This technique works best if the guy is already your friend or if you know that guy for some time. If your birthday is coming up, then there is no better excuse to ask your guy out. If he is your friend then you need to be very sure about your feelings, as getting into relationship with a friend will either turn out to be perfect or messy.
Let’s take an example. When your friend wishes you on your birthday and gives you a gift, you can flirt with him by telling him that you haven’t received a gift on your birthday that you really wanted. When he asks you what you want, you can make a cute face and tell him that you like him very much and that a date with him will be the best birthday gift for you. No man will ever reject that offer.
How To Ask A Guy Out Scenario 9 – Ask for his help
This is another easy method that you can use to ask a guy out. Without being too desperate think about ways that you can ask for his help. If he is a geek, ask him to install a software on your laptop. If he is into music, ask him about the latest trending song right now.
By using such excuses you will get to meet him more. Later you can impress him by using this opportunity and get closer to him. But be careful not to get his help for each and everything. That is one sure way to push him away.
How To Ask A Guy Out Through A Specific Medium
Whether you are asking a guy out in person or text or via a dating app, approaching him through each channel requires different strategies. Let’s have a look at each of them and which works the best.
How To Ask A Guy Out In Person
Let’s have a look at some of the tips on how to ask a guy out in person.
– Smile a lot. If you show yourself that you are a fun loving person, he will also have fun with you. Smiling is contagious.
– If you are still not ready to ask him out then you can just engage in simple conversations. It will put both of you at ease and you can ask him out whenever you are ready.
– Pay attention to his body language. Does he seem positive? Does it feel like he is interested in you? Ask him out only if you can see the signs.
– Be specific on any activity or date whenever you ask him out. Anything vague will only make things complicated.
How To Ask A Guy Out Over Text
Knowing a person’s attitude and intent has always been a challenge whenever we text. How will you know what your guy is really trying to say just by few words and emojis?
Sometimes it can be pretty hard to say if the guy is interested in you just by text, so I encourage you to mix with phone and video calls so that you can have a clear understanding. If he is consistently texting you every day and engaging in conversations with you, it is a clear sign for you to ask him out. Below are some tips on how to ask a guy out over text:
– Keep your text simple. Just ask something like ‘Do you want to visit the new winery with me this weekend?’ and wait for his response. And do not lose your patience if he has not responded. He might not have seen your text yet.
– Do not ask him out all of a sudden and surprise him. Keep it natural and ask him out whenever you are in a conversation.
– Try to be cute. A cute way to ask a guy out would be something like ‘I’m planning to ask a guy for a date. Want to know who that guy is?‘.
How to Ask a Guy Out Via Dating App
Internet has taken the world of dating to a whole new level. It can be called as a necessary evil, but in the long run it can actually be good for you. A recent study has found out that couples who have met online are more satisfied with their relationship.
If you are using a dating app, then here are a few tips on how to ask a guy out.
– Strike when the iron is hot. Ask him out sooner than later. If you wait for 1 or 2 weeks before asking him out, the momentum will be lost and he might end up being just another chat friend.
– There are apps available, like Bumble, where women have to make the first move. So the men there are already waiting for women to ask them out. Why not use such apps and let it boost your confidence.
– Do not get demotivated if you get rejected. It’s just a numbers game. You might just get to learn something valuable from your rejection and use that knowledge the next time you ask a guy out.
Trust Your Instincts
It doesn’t matter whether you meet a guy at a party or in your friends circle or in a dating app, the most important thing that you need to remember is to always trust you gut.
Whenever you meet a guy what does your instincts tell about him? It doesn’t matter how hot or attractive he is, if he a person with a load full of ego and doesn’t treat others well, then he is not the right person for you. But beyond all the assessment of whether the guy is good or bad, you need to trust your instincts on whether he is really into you or not.
I know you will feel excited whenever you start talking to a person you are interested in, and a lot of questions start running in your mind.
What if he asks me to marry him?
Is he a good kisser?
How will my babies look if I marry him?
Let me put the brakes to your imagination. Before you even start naming your future babies, pull yourself down to reality and start paying attention to his behavior. Does he seem interested to listen whenever you talk? Is he finding excuses to touch you? Does he laugh even at you bad jokes?
Is he looking somewhere else when you are talking to him? Does he have his arms crossed? Is he repeatedly checking his phone?
Such simple behavior can tell a lot about what the other person wants. It is important that you have an understanding of the body language if you want to know what the guy really feels about you. If you are attracted to a person, you may want him to have feelings for you, but you can’t really force it on him. If the guy is not into you and just want to be friends, you can save yourself from embarrassment and not ask him out.
Also, some guys like to be in charge and want to be the first one to ask you out. And if you do it first, they may not take it very well. This is one other reason why you have to pay attention to his body language. Does this guy look like the person who wants to be in charge? Should I wait for him to ask me out? Think and approach.
Sometimes your instincts are smarter than your heart. So always have trust on your instincts. It will tell you what you need to know.
It may take some practice before you can figure out how to ask a guy out. You may find your guy during your first try or you may get rejected several times before you can find your perfect partner. It’s all part of the game. And it is not the end of the world if you get rejected. You don’t really know what is going on in the man’s life for his decision to reject you. He must be already in a relationship. He must be gay. He must be fresh out from a breakup. He may not be ready to commit to someone now.
So don’t assume that you are not worthy just because he is not interested in you. Look at the bright side in knowing that he was not the right guy for you. Use the experience of rejection in finding a much better guy for you. What did I learn from this rejection? What can I do differently next time when I want to ask a guy out?
You will also learn to be patient the next time you want to ask a guy out. Get the conversation flowing and get to know each other well. You can worry about asking him out later.
The moment will be magical when the guy says yes when you ask him out. So having that bit of patience is always worth.
So be confident, embrace the feeling and the most important of all, enjoy the process of finding the perfect guy for you.
If you have any tips or experiences on how to ask a guy out, then please share with us in the comment section below.