Dating after divorce is something that most people are scared of. All the emotions, commitments and promises that you were sharing with someone are suddenly gone and finding someone again to share them can get confusing and scary.
In an ideal world, a person is ready to date again only after he/she is ready to deal with it. But in reality, they are just scared of being alone and try to rush into a relationship.
How To Start Dating After Divorce At 50?
If you are serious about getting into a relationship again, then like it or not, you need to wait until your heart is healed before you start looking for a partner again. Below are some important things that you need to do before you decide on finding a partner.
Heal Your Wounds
Grieving is a common process that we all go through when we lose someone. It is a wound that is very important to be healed. If you want to get out of your grief, you need to face them openly and honestly and take your time to heal them completely.
Grief doesn’t mean just sadness. It is multi dimensional. It is made of many emotions like anger, compassion, guilt, regret, etc. If you think you can outsmart your grief by rushing into a new relationship you are only delaying the inevitable. You can’t run from your healing process. Getting into a new relationship while letting go of the old one at the same time is not impossible.
Give time to yourself to heal your wounds. Healing is not passive. The decision to make can be hard for you, but life after your grief is beautiful and the choice is worth it.
Once you have started to heal, it’s time to rediscover yourself. Be honest with yourself and take time to understand who you are without your partner.
Did you fulfill your responsibilities as a partner? Did you lean on to your spouse whenever you need support? Did you think that it was your spouse who needs to change themselves to make your relationship better? Did you believe you were the one who was always right? Did you attend the needs of your spouse or were you always concerned about your own needs?
These are some of the questions that you need to be honest and answer yourself. These will allow you to find your strengths and weakness and have a much better understanding about yourself.
Acceptance Of New Relationship
Your relationship will only be as strong as you will be. So learn to develop yourself and also help in supporting your partner’s needs and growth at the same time. Invest time and stay connected with yourself.
Before you commit yourself to dating again, use that time to socialize yourself by making new friends, visit new places, attend parties, etc. This will give you enough time to reinvent yourself and prepare you for getting into a new relationship.
Tips For Dating After Divorce
Your past relationship must have taught you what you want and what you don’t want from your new relationship. This makes it easy for you to find a new partner.
If you haven’t been in the dating game for a long time or unfamiliar with it, especially after the rise of online dating which has changed the rules of the game drastically, it’s time for you to check out these top tips that will help you date after divorce.
Make Sure That You Are Ready
The most important rule for dating after divorce is that you should date only when you are truly ready. All your future plans, your hopes and ambitions that you held dear will get crushed once your relationship has ended. So it is important to give time to yourself to go through the grieving process.
There is no fixed time to complete this process and only you can realize when you are ready to find yourself a new partner. So don’t try to rush it. Your success in finding your new love depends on this. Don’t let strings of your old relationship hold you back.
Set Your Boundaries
Most seniors get into dating are after ending a long term relationship. While it’s good to start dating only after you are emotionally ready, it doesn’t mean that you have to forget about your ex partner. It is more difficult to forget when you have kids. But what you need to do is set cordial emotional boundaries with your ex and save the intimacy for your new partner.
Set Your Goals
One of the advantages of dating at this age is that you are free to set your own goals when it comes to relationship than your younger self. You are much more mature, wiser and know what you want from your partner. When you are dating at 50, you are much clear about decisions like parenthood, marriage, etc. Whether you are looking for a partner to get married or just a long term relationship, it is best to set some realistic goals of how you want to spend your life with your new partner.
Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone
While it’s a good idea to set goals and boundaries, it is also very important not to set unrealistic expectations. While you are reinventing yourself after your divorce, you should also be open to new things and experiences. Make new friends, take a vacation or even join a dating site as you would never know how much you will enjoy it if you never do it.
Focus on Yourself
While it feels thrilling to start dating after divorce, in order to not get yourself hurt in the process you should also focus on yourself. Try to set aside time for yourself and use them to catch up with friends and family. This will help in keeping a balanced life and also make you more appealing to the other person.
Remember You Are In Control
While you will have a network on close friends and family who might have supported you during your divorce, you will want those people to be there with you when you start dating too. But remember that you are the one who call the shots. For example, your adult children might help you in creating a dating profile for you, but if they also want to be involved in choosing a date for you, that’s where you want to draw the line.
Try Online Dating
While these dating tips can help you in creating the right mindset for you to start finding a new partner, if you want to make the most out of your dating journey, you need to consider online dating too. Today it has become easier than ever for singles over 50 to find a real partner online. Dating sites like SeniorMatch.com have been very successful in finding potential matches for seniors without the need for awkward meetings.
Your Past Is Not Your Future
While you might have gone through some bad times which led to your divorce, know that your past experiences don’t define your future. You don’t have to look at your new relationship based on your past relationship. All you have to do is learn from your previous marriage and see what you can do to make your future relation better.
Dating after divorce at 50 is not as hard as you think. Remember to be patient, be optimistic and have fun at the same time. I hope that these tips will help you in finding a new partner that you have been looking for.